I open the door. Yes to the abyss. I am received by the woman plant.
Everything was ordained by dreams.
I arrived with heart, virgin and broken. She (another me) returned vision back to me. The invitation was atrocious, radical, disturbing, otherworldly.
One does not call in Mystery, it hits you all of a sudden,
it makes you open your hands and let go of anything and everything.
It stirs you up until naked.
And that is how, from one moment to another, you see yourself saying yes.
I said yes, because of love for the mystery, which is life and death. And it took me and it took us and we let ourselves be taken. The Ucayali river, with serpentine curves. Them and I and us, it can get deeper, the heart can open more, listening with the whole body. My mind thought it would be a short trip, a month at the most. It’s been 6 years so far. And how does one know when something finishes? Does anything ever finish?
Oni reflects a transformational human journey. With hers, I touched my own feathers, I freed my waters, I let the chants of a time when everything was possible to be drawn in my skin. The sacred geometry of the jungle, the scent of wild spirits, the memories of our indigenous brothers. To touch the earth with the hands, the mouth, the soul; digging myself in the earth, eating earth, becoming earth, remembering myself as EARTH.
Crossing mental frontiers, finding ourselves in all languages, sleeping in a car, a boat, a street, a tent, a bus, a home-bus, a home-temple-bus, and in the void itself. Still dreaming. Every step was dreamt. The path nurtured by tears, listening, shouts, magic, prayer and risk.
Every scene of Oni is an alchemy of friendship, sacred place, synchronicity and heart. There was never a plan, neither a budget nor schedules. Guided by the sun rising and setting, and what each moment offered, we gave our bodies to the vision of a plant.
Fear and trust in the abyss. That is Nausea. Because, deep inside, we want to jump. Because deep inside, we want to be transformed. Because deep inside, there is no other option.
Today I become a mother. When Oni was released for the first time in Chico, California; Samuel Schoendao was filling my womb with his life. Today, once again, I give my bodies, fears and faith to the mystery and its each-moment. Informed by the reborn code. Milk, blood and warm waters drip all around me, run through my body. I kneel before the Tree of Life. Thank you teachers. Thanks to sisterhood. Dancing the cycles of birth, death and rebirth with you, an exquisite gift I am still apprehending.
The lived magic stays in my eyes, and here is our offering in times that have our soul asking for trascendental medicine, made from innocent freedom and the wildest human treasure: dreams.